Two Steps Forward And One Step Back
by anxiousgeek
Summary: Female Adaar/Josephine The Inquisitor's been trying to hook up with Josie, but she's being so darn oblivious, and the Inquisitor's starting to get frustrated. So she goes to her friend Sera for advice. Hijinx ensues. Mentions Sera/Dagna


Flowers.

It started with Flowers.

It started with flowers, because Herah Adaar had been collecting rare flowers from across Orlais and Ferelden and presenting them to Josephine in an attempt to convey her affections for the woman.

Josephine hadn't responded the way she wanted though. No leaping into her arms or kissing her senseless. She was pleased certainly, honoured on occasion, but Herah was hoping for more. That Josephine would understand what she meant.

She didn't.

So flowers.

Lots of flowers.

Everywhere.

No note, no explanation – just a lot of flowers covering every inch of space in Josephine's office. Sera had insisted it was the way to go, Herah wasn't sure but considering her efforts so far had gone unnoticed or at least under appreciated the Inquisitor decided she should at least give it a try.

Right?

She had no idea where Sera had gotten to many flowers though and she was afraid to ask.

She went to see Josephine the next day on the elf's orders. She couldn't help but chuckle as she saw most of the flowers remained but a path had been created between the doors and to the Ambassador's desk.

"Inquisitor," she said, "I don't suppose you could shed any light on these?" she asked, gesturing the bright blooms.

"They're flowers," Herah said,

"I can see that."

"You like flowers do you not?" she asked.

"Perhaps not this many."

Herah nodded, agreeing with her.

"I can have someone remove them for you?"

"I have already arranged it Inquisitor, but thank you for offering."

Herah nodded, giving her a weak smile and went to say more but Josephine was already back to work. With a careful eye on the flowers she left the office.

xxx

"So that didn't work," Sera said, legs swinging back and forth wildly over the edge of roof. Herah sat next to her, looking over the Skyhold courtyard trying not to look at the elf. She was always worried Sera would go tumbling off the little roof. Josephine was walking quickly past the training ring and she did like to watch her rushing from place to place.

"Need to give her somin' she needs right. No one needs flowers 'cept ponces," Sera said, Herah went to speak but the elf carried on, "an' Josie's not a ponce – she's nice, mental but nice."

"Mental?"

"All high strung and stuff."

Herah shook her head.

"So what then?"

Sera shrugged and watched as Josephine's bent to pick up the candle that had fallen from her board. She looked at Herah with a grin.

"Light!" she said, jumping to her feet. "She needs light."

"Sera," Herah warned.

"I'm going to see Widdles."

"Why?"

"She has the best toys," the elf cried, throwing herself back through the window and into her room.

"Okay but only one light, not a hundred." Herah said, climbing in after her. She wasn't sure Sera could hear her, the other woman was already out of her room and heading towards the stairs.

"One light," she called out as Sera leaped over the banisters to the next floor, cackling.

Herah groaned.

xxx

It was definitely only one light.

And it was small which impressed Herah, not a massive ball of light that engulfed the entirety of Skyhold or Thedas or whatever else the Inquisitor had imagined going wrong.

Explosions

She had imagined explosions.

It was fine though. At least at first. A small ball of light hovered over Josephine's clipboard, giving her plenty of light to see as she walked around Skyhold, and as she worked at her desk. Josephine seemed quite pleased with the gift too – she was trying hard to find out where it had come from and the little light went everywhere with her.

Everywhere.

Herah realised the problem when she went to tell Josephine she had given her this gift. The ambassador was flicking the ball of light, pushing it away before hitting it with her board. There were dark rings around her usually bright eyes.

"Ambassador?"

"Inquisitor," she huffed, "do you know anything about this?" she said, pausing in her attempted destruction.

"What's wrong?"

"I can not," another swing, "get rid of it, or turn it off."

"Oh."

"And I cannot sleep. It follows me everywhere. Even without my board," she said. "I even tried sleeping in one of those ridiculous Orlesian bed masks but it just shone brighter!"

Herah swallowed, feeling a blush rise up on her cheeks.

"I, um, I'll deal with it Josephine," she said, skittering backwards towards the door once more. "Let me."

"Thank you Inquisitor," Josephine said, dropping down into her chair. "Before tonight please. Whoever did this has a terrible sense of humour."

Herah felt the blush deepen and turned away quickly to find Sera and Dagna.

xxx

"Okay, not good, right," Sera said, "Dagna sez sorry, not her fault, happens don' it."

They were in her room, a bottle of something strong and stolen half drunk on the the floor within reach of both of them. Sera was lying on her front, arm hanging over the side of her cushioned window seat. Herah was on the floor, head resting on her knees, horns hanging over them. Her hair was a mess from the elf's fiddling earlier, during the first half of the bottle.

"So now what?" Herah asked. "If she finds out what we did she's going to hate me."

"She won't hate you, Josie don't hate no one, too big a heart, all gold an' that."

Herah agreed, even when she was grumbling about the visiting nobles, and the state of Sera's clothing or the the fact the Charger's ate more food than the rest of the Inquisition's army combined, none of that really changed the way Josephine felt about these people. She cared about them all. Even Sera.

Even Herah.

But, she couldn't tell if Josephine felt anything else for her. Or if she ever could feel something else for her. Something more serious and wonderful and...

"So what now?" she asked Sera, tipping her head back, then taking another slug from the bottle.

"Why don't you just take her to bed?" she said. "I mean, way to a woman's heart is between her legs, time to skip all this lovely dovey stuff."

"No, not with Josephine," Herah insisted. "She deserves more."

"Wot's better than bein' between her legs?" Sera asked, with a huff. "Don't get you. Too much up here, probly them horns, funny pressure on your head."

Herah laughed.

"Shut up," she said, swatting behind her blindly. Sera laughed too, taking another drink.

"So what? What next?"

"Invisible ink messages that glow in the dark or a certain spell. I can do that, Jennies do it all the time."

"Maybe."

"Or, a pet! Yeah, like a nug! Or a bear!"

"Where is she going to keep a bear?"

"Skyhold's massive!"

"Sera."

"Cave Beetle?"

"Sera."

"Fine, fine," she grumbled. "I'll sleep on it. Better ideas in the dark."

And with that Sera started snoring. Herah laughed and closed her eyes. Maybe Sera was right. Better ideas came after some sleep.

xxx

Sera got a cat.

Herah didn't ask where she'd gotten it from.

She really should've known better.

It was fine, at first, Josephine was pleased and the cat was nice enough, small and black, a little fat, a little slow but nice enough. Just a cat. Nothing special.

Nothing weird.

Josephine seemed to like it.

Herah decided it was a success and went to reap the rewards of the gift.

And found Josephine surround by _forty-nine_ cats.

Some black, some ginger tabbies, some brown and white. Some fluffy, some smooth. Some big, some small. A few kittens, a few reaching the end of their nine lives. But definitely more than the one small black cat Herah and Sera had left in her office.

That cat was curled up on the desk in front of a confused and slightly frightened looking Josephine. There were two other cats on her desk, and one on her chair. Her settee was completely covered and there was a large pile of cats by the fire.

Forty-nine in total.

Josephine had counted.

She was also sneezing.

"I think I am allergic to some of the cats Inquisitor," she said. "If you could do something about them."

"Er, sure, I'll get some of the soldiers to, ah, round them up."

"Thank you Herah," she said with a strained smile. "But please leave Tou-Tou," she added gesturing to the little black cat she had started with.

Herah smiled back then. Maybe she was getting somewhere. Maybe she would find out. After she got rid of all the cats.

xxx

"Okay so less cats."

"Why get so many?" Herah asked

"Widdles didn't like the first one, wasn't posh enough, and then the next one was too posh, and then the third one only had three legs – I liked it – but..."

"I get it," Herah interrupted not wanting to hear the tale of every single one of the forty-nine cats.

"S'not my fault they escaped."

"Where were you keeping them?"

"The Undercroft."

Herah groaned.

"Tou-Tou was number fifty."

"Fifty?"

"One was really old. We had a funeral." Sera smiled at her and leaned back in her chair. They were in the great hall today, watching the nobles mingle with each other as they tried to decide whether to talk to the hulking Qunari Inquisitor while she was with her rude little elf friend. Most were in favour of going without today – Herah was pleased with that.

"Now what?"

"I dunno, Dagna says we should just tell her, cause that's what she did."

"She just told you."

"Yeah, straight up, walks up to me – says I like you and kisses me all sweet like," she said, making a retching noise.

"I know you're a sweet heart deep down Sera, I've seen you two together. It's adorable."

"Shut up," she said, hitting her with handle of her dagger on a horn.

Josephine came rushing through the hall then, candle back on her board, a punnet of grapes and a little cake balanced on it. She smiled at Herah, nodding quickly, before continuing past all the nobles as fast as possible without them noticing she'd even been there. Herah sighed.

"You've got it bad for prissy britches."

"I wish you wouldn't call her that."

"I don't."

"You just did."

Sera stuck her tongue out.

"Don' mean it though do I. Not anymore."

Herah nodded, accepting it and flicked a grape over the hall at Varric. It hit him on the head but the dwarf didn't stop writing.

"She likes them little cakes right?" Sera said, eyeing up a platter of them on the table. "We could get some dead special little cakes."

"Something from Val Royeax. Or Antiva."

"Yeah! I know just the place."

"Don't involve Dagna anymore. You two are trouble together."

Sera smiled at her. Herah frowned.

xxx

Sera involved Dagna.

Herah should've known better. When Sera wasn't with her, she was with Dagna.

Herah knew Sera had involved Dagna because what they had made together were less a dozen tiny cakes and more a dozen tiny bombs.

Skyhold was on high alert for attack. No one knew (or would admit to knowing) who had sent the Ambassador twelve tiny exploding cakes. They were in complete lock-down of the fortress. No one in, no one out.

Herah and Josephine both had personal guards following them around at all times – Cullen had insisted. Sera had locked herself in her room – no one had seen Dagna though Herah assumed she was locked in with the elf. Everyone assumed they were afraid of the bombs like everyone else.

Which Herah found odd because it obviously looked like a prank, even if she hadn't known Sera (and by extension herself) was responsible for the cake-bombs. They weren't dangerous. They hadn't hurt anyone, or even destroyed anything. Josephine had merely been covered in crumbs and icing. A lot of it.

Herah had turned up in time to see the aftermath as usual but hadn't said anything. She managed to get the Ambassador out of the way before cake eleven and twelve went off.

Tou-Tou the cat was not so lucky, but didn't seem to mind. He spent the rest of the day avoiding Josephine – who wanted to bathe him – and licking himself.

He was the only one who was happy with the cakes.

Josephine was able to convince everyone it was safe to relax – that it had obviously been a prank. Unless Corypheus was trying a new tactic Cullen and her inner circle were all in agreement with her. Leliana didn't ague with her. But then Josephine had a way about her that was both endearing and terrifying. Herah was pretty sure she'd do anything she asked given half the chance.

She sighed.

She did have it bad.

At least now the guards were gone she would be able to talk to Josephine – perhaps even apologise – but she didn't want the ambassador to hate her.

That was the crux of the matter.

She didn't want to lose Josephine's friendship entirely. If Josie didn't want a romantic relationship Herah was pretty sure she could manage that, but to lose her altogether. That would break her heart.

xxx

"Wot you wanna try now inky?" Sera asked.

They were in Herah's quarters, keeping out the way of a new influx of nobles until Josephine was ready for her. Sometimes they needed a little sweetening. Sometimes they needed to be prepared for meeting a Qunari. Sometimes they were just posh knobs. Sera's words but Herah agreed.

"No, no, no." Josephine said coming up the stairs. "No more."

She came to stand in front of them. Sera sat up on the love seat and Herah jumped out of her chair, blushing red over her grey skin.

"No more wot?" Sera asked, defensively.

"No more pranks. I don't know why you're doing it but it has to stop," she said, hands on her hips. "And don't deny it – I know it was you two."

"Josephine – I..." Herah trailed off, unable to speak any more.

Sera jumped to her feet, grinning.

"Okay, now you do need help with this," she said.

"Then what have you been doing?" Herah asked her.

"Having fun."

"What is going on?" Josephine asked.

"Josie, Herah is very interested in you and your pretty lady parts and would like to get to know those lady parts. So get strippin'."

"Excuse me!"

"Sera!"

The cried out together and Sera cackled.

"Well, my work here is done."

She skipped off down the stairs, singing a rude song about Herah's horns, that had both women blushing even harder. When they heard the door slam behind her, they glanced at each other before looking away again.

"What Sera said?" Josephine asked, looking up at Herah, eyes bright, checks red. "Is it true?"

"Not exactly the way I would've put it but yes," Herah said, looking down at her feet, and Josephine's own dainty ones came into view as she stepped a little closer.

"And the pranks?"

"Not supposed to be pranks. I mean, I didn't know Sera was screwing it all up on purpose. It was supposed to be nice things for you to show you how I felt not..."

"Chaos."

Herah chuckled, looking back up at Josephine who was smiling.

"I do appreciate the effort I suppose," she said, "And Tou-Tou is very sweet."

"I'm glad."

"Why did you not just tell me how you felt?" Josephine asked, taking Herah's large grey hand in her own.

"I was scared. I didn't want to lose a friend and I thought you deserved more then just some plain words from a lumbering Qunari," she said.

Josephine didn't reply. She simply reached up on her tip-toes and kissed Herah on the lips. She was stunned at first, not sure how to react, but Josephine squeezed her hand and pressed her lips more insistently to Herah's. She gasped and kissed her back, wrapping her arms around Josephine and pulling her close. Josephine squealed, the sound swallowed by Herah as she deepened the kiss.

"I am very interested in you," Herah said softly, "I would very much like to court you."

"I would like that," Josephine said, kissing her again.

xxx

Herah could hear whispering, someone talking...no two people, having a hushed conversation. Maybe she was dreaming? She wasn't sure. All she knew for certain was that she was warm, and comfortable and Josephine was still stretched out next to her, head resting on her chest.

"What can you see?"

"Nothin'"

"You're too short."

"I'm perfect."

Sera. And Dagna. Herah was sure of it.

There was some scuffling and Herah tried to ignore it, burying herself deeper into Josephine's embrace. She smelt wonderful, and the Inquisitor managed to crack one eye open to see her thick hair loose and messy, covering half of her face. She was even more beautiful like this, expanses of smooth bronze skin and soft curves, exposed to the morning light.

And possibly Sera and Dagna.

She was annoyed about that, but couldn't quite move. Not yet. Too happy.

"They're naked!"

That did it. With that Herah managed to pull herself out of Josephine's arms and sit up. Josephine grumbled but settled back to sleep. Through the bannisters of her stairs she could see the top of Dagna's head. The dwarf's eyes went wide and she suddenly disappeared. Both she and Sera cried out and there was a crash.

"What on Thedas is going on?" Josephine asked, sitting up and pulling the covers up over her chest.

Herah didn't answer, she climbed out of bed and walked over to the stairs, looking down at the heap of elf and dwarf on the floor at the foot of the stairs.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Nuthin'," Sera said, extracting herself from Dagna.

"Sorry Inquisitor!" The Arcanist cried up at her.

"It's okay," she said.

"I'll see you later," she told Sera before kissing her on the cheek. She skipped out of the door and away.

"What are you doing?"

"Wanted to see how you and Josie was doing," she said. "Was worried you wouldn't be able to get into her knickers."

"She did just fine!" Josephine called out, making Herah blush.

"Nice one."

"Thanks. Now sod off."

"That's my inky," Sera said with a grin.

"And stop calling me that," she called behind her.

"Horny?"

"Inky's fine."

Herah turned away from the bannister and smiled at Josephine in her bed.

"Nice tits by the way!" Sera cried out before slamming the door behind her.

Herah groaned.

"Come back to bed," Josephine said. "We'll get our own back on Sera later."

She laughed and climbed back into bed with her, kissing her deeply.

"Sounds like fun."

"Oh it will be," Josephine said, with a grin.

Herah chuckled. They were going to have a lot of fun together.


End file.
